The Weekend I Will Always Remember

I've always heard that when some women get pregnant, they know. Well, I knew. I've been feeling weird for about a week or so - sore, crampy, extra tired, and emotional. I was pushing away thoughts of pregnancy, but it was always there in my mind. My sister-in-law, who has two recent experiences with pregnancy, always told me I would know when I got hick-ups. It was at lunch, with said sister-in-law and my perfect (though at times fussy) baby niece, when out of nowhere... Hick-ups! I knew... I knew.

First item on the agenda upon returning home after a full morning of work and afternoon of errand-running - NAP! Like I said, extra tired. It was a nice nap. The last nap before... THE TEST.

December 17, 2010 - Friday, 6:00 pm

Josh, the boyfriend got home from work and woke me up. I went into the bathroom, and watched as the blue plus sign slowly appeared. I wasn't quite ready for the ... officialness. Thank goodness for my amazing boyfriend. I walked into the living room (after a stabilizing meditation moment in the bathroom), and he could see I had news. I managed to get out "I think I'm pregnant." He immediately jumped up from the couch and pulled me close, exactly what I needed. My rock. The rest of that conversation was just working through shock to get back to the reality of the situation.

He went out to celebrate with his best friend, and I went to find my other, more pregnant, rock - Sister-in-Law! She's my Pregnancy Super Hero. She's an amazing new mommy and my personal pregnancy/baby expert. I'm borrowing two of her baby books, both of which I'm a little to scared of to start reading just yet. ;)

That was my Friday night.

Saturday was harder.

Saturday was "Guess who's going to be grandparents again?" day. Dad and step-mom are an entire state away, so, sadly, that one had to be a phone call announcement. I sensed surprise. :) Mom was coming to the house, and I feel like this particular day, the drive took for-ev-er! Thankfully, my brother and my hero and my niece arrived a couple minutes after mom. This one is a fun one:

Mom - "She is so amazing." commenting on the toddling little girl in my living room

Me - "I know, don't you just want like a dozen?"

Mom - "Well, now we need a boy." as my brother is busy producing beautiful female offspring

Me - "Maybe I'll have a boy."

Mom - "Hello! I'm waiting!"

Me - "Well, you can stop."

Mom - "SERIOUSLY??"

And that's when the screaming/crying/hugging extravaganza began. Poor Squish, the toddle-niece, had no idea what was going on.

Mother, Brother, Sister, Squish, Boyfriend, and I all had a great celebratory lunch with burgers and a bad waiter.

That night, my mom and I were at my aunt's birthday celebration, and I got a phone call. My boyfriend's dad had been in the hospital and then the nursing home. He had taken a turn for the worse. Mom and I headed back home. Later, around 1:00 am, we got another call. He passed away. On his visit earlier that day, Josh told his dad that we were pregnant. It was hard to tell whether or not he could understand, but he shook his head and squeezed Josh's hand. I think that he did understand, and he knew that we were all going to be okay. I think he wanted a peaceful place where he could watch us running around like crazy people with Belly Bean on the way.

It's really hard to think that our baby will never get to meet his paternal grandfather, but I really believe he'll be around to check up on us. We've decided that whether Belly Bean is a boy or a girl, we will name him after Josh's dad in someway.

As you can see, it's been a crazy beginning so far. And I know we've got some hard times ahead of us, but Josh and I are so excited to go through everything together.

Even though we really have NO idea what we're doing, yet. :)