I Love Sharing!

People's reactions to the news have been great.  Every time I tell someone new, I get a little more excited for the baby.


Josh's reaction beats them all.  Accepting that I was pregnant was one of the scariest moments of my life.  He gave me exactly what I needed: comfort and reassurance and love.  I kept asking him if he was mad or upset, and he said no, this is a good thing.  I don't know where he found that strength in that moment, but I am so glad he did for me.


My mom's is of course up there.  I expected a happy dance of sorts, but that more like a love-filled mosh pit.  Screaming, crying, jumping, hugging.  My dad told me before hand that I should video tape mom's reaction.  I really should have.  But instead, I just play it over and over in my head.


I have really been enjoying my Dad's daily text messages and Tonya's phone calls, where my father is in the background with a "HOW'S THE BABY?" and "HOW'S THE MOMMY?"  I keep telling him that the baby is really just a group of rapidly reproducing cells tucked behind my pelvis bone, but him and Tonya seem excited just the same.  ;)


Best friends have all been appropriately excited.  I haven't seen most of them in person yet, but I have scheduled lunch dates which, I'm sure, will begin with hugs and squeals.


PJs is really where I'm getting great feedback.  At first, I thought I would wait to tell them.  After a doctor's visit maybe.  But I got to work yesterday, told the boss man - who is also a friend - and it was just too much fun.  Audrey was next.  For the five hours we worked together, anytime she looked at me, she couldn't help but smile.  Also, she gave me strict instructions: If it's a girl, name her Audrey.  If it's a boy, name him Audrey.  So I guess I can cross off baby naming from my to-do list.  Blake is a PJs friend, but I will definitely file him under the best friend category as there was I believe two whole years where we saw each other everyday (barring out of town travel).  I will never forget his face upon hearing the news.  He gave me a big giant squeeze-bear hug (my favorite kind) and couldn't keep the smile off his face.


Mindy and Brielle....  Well, this one I had to prepare myself for.  Within the first hour of finding out that I was pregnant, the thought actually passed through my mind: Brielle and Mindy are going freak out!  At that point, I had it worked up in my mind that anyone else I told was going to be mean and think I was just irresponsible.  Clearly not thinking rational there.  But either way, I was counting on these two, and they did not let me down.  :)  After the initial "We're having a baby," I had to assure them that I was not joking.  Seriously, we're having a baby.  This is another moment I won't forget.  Mindy jumped up from the booth and tackled me from behind with a big hug.  Then the three of us discussed what we will be buying the baby.


When I was discussing all my favorites, Josh asked "What about Clay and Jen?" (the brother and sis-in-law).  I had actually forgot to include them in my list.  Which is weird, because they were the first ones to know after Josh and I.  In fact, I could think of nothing else except getting to Jen as quickly as possible.  It came to me yesterday, like an epiphany.  For Clay and Jen, I was not announcing that I was pregnant.  I was presenting my desperate plea for help.  I have always looked up to my little brother.  In fact, I used to say that high school and college for me both started two years late and that I was mostly just hanging around until Clay got there and made it fun.  And Jen, well, there aren't words to express how much I respect her as a mom and a caretaker (both of my nieces and of my brother).  Both of them are simply amazing.  And thank god we are all so close because there is no way I could do this without them.  Both of them are going to be sooo annoyed with all my questions.  ;)


I've still got a few more people to tell in person before I make the official "Facebook Announcement" which is now mandatory for all things in life it seems.  I expect a lot of "likes," but I sure am enjoying the hell out of this hugging and squealing phase.

Santa Baby

Our house went from frumpy cold rental to Santa's Workshop in just 24 hours!  Sunday with my mom was really great.  We went Christmas shopping EVERYWHERE!  Our family Christmas is at mine and Josh's house this year, but that's only a recent development, so we decided to invest some time in decorating.  Josh put up our stockings and Christmas tree and strung the lights, both inside and outside.  I spent a good few hours hidden away in the bedroom wrapping up Josh's and everyone else's presents.  I felt like one of Santa's elves.  :)  I'm so excited for Christmas morning!  Some of the presents I got for Josh are super lame, but I had fun picking them out anyway.  I also had sooo much fun picking out my little niece's presents.  I can't wait to see her little face!  I mean, the presents probably aren't super exciting, but the wrapping paper is really colorful.  ;)

One of the best presents we found was a little stuffed cow.  He's so cute and soft.  It's Belly Bean's first stuffed animal.  I hope it will be loved.
Belly Bean's daddy started a blog today, too.  Everyone should check it out.  He's such a proud papa!
Wait... Whaddaya Mean A Poopy Diaper?

The Weekend I Will Always Remember

I've always heard that when some women get pregnant, they know. Well, I knew. I've been feeling weird for about a week or so - sore, crampy, extra tired, and emotional. I was pushing away thoughts of pregnancy, but it was always there in my mind. My sister-in-law, who has two recent experiences with pregnancy, always told me I would know when I got hick-ups. It was at lunch, with said sister-in-law and my perfect (though at times fussy) baby niece, when out of nowhere... Hick-ups! I knew... I knew.

First item on the agenda upon returning home after a full morning of work and afternoon of errand-running - NAP! Like I said, extra tired. It was a nice nap. The last nap before... THE TEST.

December 17, 2010 - Friday, 6:00 pm

Josh, the boyfriend got home from work and woke me up. I went into the bathroom, and watched as the blue plus sign slowly appeared. I wasn't quite ready for the ... officialness. Thank goodness for my amazing boyfriend. I walked into the living room (after a stabilizing meditation moment in the bathroom), and he could see I had news. I managed to get out "I think I'm pregnant." He immediately jumped up from the couch and pulled me close, exactly what I needed. My rock. The rest of that conversation was just working through shock to get back to the reality of the situation.

He went out to celebrate with his best friend, and I went to find my other, more pregnant, rock - Sister-in-Law! She's my Pregnancy Super Hero. She's an amazing new mommy and my personal pregnancy/baby expert. I'm borrowing two of her baby books, both of which I'm a little to scared of to start reading just yet. ;)

That was my Friday night.

Saturday was harder.

Saturday was "Guess who's going to be grandparents again?" day. Dad and step-mom are an entire state away, so, sadly, that one had to be a phone call announcement. I sensed surprise. :) Mom was coming to the house, and I feel like this particular day, the drive took for-ev-er! Thankfully, my brother and my hero and my niece arrived a couple minutes after mom. This one is a fun one:

Mom - "She is so amazing." commenting on the toddling little girl in my living room

Me - "I know, don't you just want like a dozen?"

Mom - "Well, now we need a boy." as my brother is busy producing beautiful female offspring

Me - "Maybe I'll have a boy."

Mom - "Hello! I'm waiting!"

Me - "Well, you can stop."

Mom - "SERIOUSLY??"

And that's when the screaming/crying/hugging extravaganza began. Poor Squish, the toddle-niece, had no idea what was going on.

Mother, Brother, Sister, Squish, Boyfriend, and I all had a great celebratory lunch with burgers and a bad waiter.

That night, my mom and I were at my aunt's birthday celebration, and I got a phone call. My boyfriend's dad had been in the hospital and then the nursing home. He had taken a turn for the worse. Mom and I headed back home. Later, around 1:00 am, we got another call. He passed away. On his visit earlier that day, Josh told his dad that we were pregnant. It was hard to tell whether or not he could understand, but he shook his head and squeezed Josh's hand. I think that he did understand, and he knew that we were all going to be okay. I think he wanted a peaceful place where he could watch us running around like crazy people with Belly Bean on the way.

It's really hard to think that our baby will never get to meet his paternal grandfather, but I really believe he'll be around to check up on us. We've decided that whether Belly Bean is a boy or a girl, we will name him after Josh's dad in someway.

As you can see, it's been a crazy beginning so far. And I know we've got some hard times ahead of us, but Josh and I are so excited to go through everything together.

Even though we really have NO idea what we're doing, yet. :)